Annoyed by food stuck between your teeth? Too busy to brush? You need our new product of advanced genetic engineering and biotechnology: CornFloss! Each ear of this tasty but sterile hybrid maize comes with unnaturally-strong fibers of corn silk unnaturally bonded at both ends, stretching the length of the ear along the rows of kernels. Just cook and enjoy our miracle corn-on-the-cob, and with every bite CornFloss strands will slip between your teeth and do that job you love to forget: flossing. And it's so affordable (or will be once we pay our legal bills).
Look for CornFloss in the clone section of your favorite grocery store. And wait until you hear what our agri-gene-splicers are working on next! We can't say much, but imagine the possibilities when kernels of corn, DNA fully under our control, get into your lower intestine. And remember our corporate slogan: It's not just the mind that boggles!
Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 06:31:51 (EDT) = Datetag20010616