No One Cares

Arthur Brooks (The Atlantic, 2021-11-11, "No One Cares") writes cheerfully about letting-go:

... we consistently overestimate how much people think about us and our failings, leading us to undue inhibition and worse quality of life. Perhaps your followers or neighbors would have a lower opinion of you if they were thinking about you–but they probably aren't. Next time you feel self-conscious, notice that you are thinking about yourself. You can safely assume that everyone around you is doing more or less the same.

... ask yourself: What am I hiding that I'm a little embarrassed about? Resolve not to hide it anymore, and decimate the useless shame holding you back.

The way to free yourself from this belief is to stop judging others, and, when you accidentally do so, to remind yourself that you might well be wrong. Try this experiment: Set a day in the coming week when you resolve to judge nothing, and instead merely observe. Instead of "This rain is terrible," say, "It is raining." Instead of "That guy who cut me off in traffic is a jerk," say, "That guy must be in a hurry." It will be difficult, but strangely refreshing. You will have relieved yourself of the burden of constant judging–and thus be less worried about getting judged.

(cf Three Equations for Life (2020-05-03), Regret v Disappointment, Risk v Uncertainty (2020-08-18), ...) - ^z - 2021-11-17