ZhurnalyWiki: SeptemberSayings

Some noteworthy quips from the first fortnight of the month:

To invoke some serious necromancy with a corpse, try saying Abracadaver!
"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory they are the same, but in practice they are different." (as quoted by TWH- source?)
"I was wondering whether it was conspiracy or incompetence. As always, it was the latter." (BD*)
"The Goddess of Education is always shown holding a whip. Perhaps she should be called the Dominatrix of Education?" (AP*)
"The future isn't what it used to be." (BD)
"I'm having a Swiss Moment --- you know, the way a whole congregation in Switzerland will break into laughter in church on Sunday morning, because they finally got the joke they heard the day before." (GdM*)
"Excellence is excellence no matter what the endeavor." (JC)
"We're talking cosmic timescales ... that is, some time before Amy retires."
"Never try to walk up a wall that's leaning toward you, never try to kiss a person who's leaning away from you, and never try to talk to an audience about a subject that they know more about than you." (K, attributed to Winston Churchill)
"That was normal amoral lawyer behavior. It makes me ashamed to pay taxes." (BD*)
"Being under the threat of a subpoena tends to concentrate the mind." (TF*)
"I take very few things seriously, Sir!" (?)

* slightly edited by ^z