BureaucraticAcronyms

When I first started working in a big organization a couple of decades ago, I found that there were elements of the language that I had to learn. Some of the best were simple initial-letter-strings that referred to important concepts. They haven't changed much, if any, over the years. Among the most frequently used:

• C.O.B. = Close Of Business (meaning an indefinite time but before you can go home, as in "We have to finish this report by C.O.B. Thursday." The related O.O.B = "Opening Of Business" is rarely heard.)
• PAR = Performance Appraisal Report (an annual "report card" on how somebody is doing, pronounced as a single syllable rather than as separate letters)
• T&A = Time & Attendance (the biweekly accounting of hours worked, overtime, etc.)
• P.T.I. = Property Turn In (usually written without the dots on signs attached to furniture, a box full of books, obsolete microfiche readers, ugly wall decorations, etc. --- items left in the hallway for some unknown person or persons to move away; occasionally translated as "Please Take It")

My favorite jargonism of all time, however, is the mysterious "O.B.E.", as in "You don't have to do that; it's O.B.E. now."

When I first heard it I thought "O.B.E." might mean "Order of the British Empire", a famous award for honorable service to the United Kingdom. (How sweet --- some helpful Englishman with a medal is going to do my work for me!) But alas, "O.B.E." simply means "Overtaken By Events". That is, it's too late now to be worth bothering with any more. Given bureaucratic delays, this is a common term ...

TopicLanguage - TopicHumor - TopicPersonalHistory - 2004-08-23

(correlates: HerodotusOnFreedom, ComplexSimplicity, Refuse to Be Terrorized, ...)