ConflictAversion

One day in 1978 I gave some visiting Soviet physicists a ride between Pasadena and La Jolla. They taught me how to say "I love you" in Russian, and besides that I still remember the proverb that one of them repeated for me: "Don't trouble Trouble unless Trouble troubles you."

By that advice he meant that it's wise to avoid stress whenever possible --- to hang back from difficulties, unless they come to you and you have no choice. Arnold Bennett in his essay How To Make the Best Of Life (1923) comes to similar conclusions. He suggests three big rules:

• Sympathize --- try to imagine yourself in the place of other people, and experiment with taking their viewpoint on a situation;
• Refrain from judging others --- and especially avoid negative judgments whenever possible;
• Don't worry --- or at least, try not to worry so much about things that you're not responsible for or that you can't do anything about.

Bennett calls the above "three aids for establishing good humour". Like the Russian proverb, they don't sound very profound ... but perhaps by consciously practicing this sort of gentle, understanding, tolerant behavior one can be happier and more productive, as well as catalyze similar good will in acquaintances and colleagues.

Tuesday, February 22, 2000 at 05:46:30 (EST) = 2000-02-22

TopicBennett - TopicLife

(correlates: ReadLikely, CheckYourMirrors, HowToSucceed, ...)