How to Give a Content-Free Speech

At a recent conference the substitute kickoff speaker showed a masterful command of rhetoric. He gave a talk which demonstrated the fundamental principles of filling time without saying anything:

• praise the organizers of the meeting
• praise the audience
• review the history of the subject and the reason for the gathering
• define some of the terms used in the conference title and description
• restate some key questions to be discussed
• tell everyone how important the task is that they face
• exhort the attendees to do good

... then hand the microphone over to the master of ceremonies and slip quietly away!

(cf. HowToDiscreditAnUnwelcomeReport (2005-06-10), SecretsOfThePaddingMasters (2006-11-27), ...) - ^z - 2009-04-15