In competitive running people who are at least 40 years of age are called "Masters" and have their own category of prizes. But honestly, that usage of the word Masters reeks of patronizing euphemism. It's like referring to heavier runners as Clydesdales (males over 200 lbs.) or Athenas (women over 145 lbs.).

So — Modest Proposal #402 — how about some more forthright longevity-based divisions?

For "senior" (another circumlocution!) lady racers, age-rated categories could include hags, crones, harpies, etc. And extending this principle to younger runners suggests some further interestingly blunt possibilities: brats, urchins, whippersnappers, ...

(cf. BigAndStrong (27 July 2004), ...)

TopicHumor - TopicRunning - 2006-07-14

(correlates: Suboptimism, GoingSolo, BarryLawsAndPrecepts, ...)