SuVexation

Warning signs:

• Have you noticed, as you attempt to pull out of the gas station after filling the tank of your Sport Utility Vehicle, that traffic no longer pauses respectfully to let your monster truck merge?
• When you do a "rolling stop" in your mega-minivan through an intersection behind a subcompact, do you find that the driver in front of you suddenly becomes meticulously law-abiding and comes to a full, complete, and irritating halt at every subsequent stop sign?
• At the parking lot, with your extra-wide overflowing its space, do you return to find the junkiest old rustbucket on the planet jammed into the slot next to yours, so close that you can't open your door to get in?
• As you cruise along the one-lane parkway at night with your superbright headlights, does the tiny hybrid vehicle that you're tailgating slow down to the speed limit and, sporadically, tap the brakes to avoid hitting wildlife on the road --- thereby forcing you to panic-brake and causing your blood pressure to spike?

You may be a victim of a new secret society: the SUVexators. These self-righteous ecofreaks delight in driving (no pun intended!) to distraction any modern human who has spent a few years of disposable income on a prestigiously profligate transportation machine. SUVexators are shameless, even proud, in their retrograde thinking. They are never happier than when inconveniencing those whom they see as treading too heavily on the Earth. A vast, clandestine conspiracy, clothed in apparent innocence, aimed squarely at you.

Or maybe it's all in your imagination ...

TopicHumor - TopicSociety - 2003-12-24

(correlates: 2008-06-22 - Rock Creek Park Loop, LetTrucksBeTrucks, StreetScene, ...)