After recently experiencing the films League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Terminator 3 — both of which fell woefully short of their potential — a few simple guidelines for those who wish to write and direct such fantasies:

• Bullets must hurt people — no sprays of machine-gun fire that only damage furniture, pockmark walls, etc. ...
• Explosions must hurt people — no outrunning of fireballs or dodging of shrapnel blasts by any characters, howsoever quick-witted ...
• Edifices must be tougher than vehicles — no crashing through structures without damage to car/train/plane/ship/whatever ...
• Chases must advance the story — no pointless high-speed zig-zagging time-wasters, whether by automobile, jet-ski, spaceship, or other mode of rapid transport ...

And most important of all:

• Plot devices must be non-obvious — no lame excuses for perilous action that the audience can see through in less than 10 seconds

In other words, cut the clichés and make suspension of disbelief less of an embarrassment for the viewers.

(see also Extraordinary Gentlemen (29 Apr 2003), ...)

TopicEntertainment - TopicHumor - 2003-08-10

(correlates: WrongAgain, 2005-11-03 - PBT at Night, Projectile Precision, ...)