(Currently reading Dared and Done by Julia Markus)

Elizabeth Barrett wrote to her future husband, fellow poet Robert Browning:

There! I shall never read over what I send you, reflect on it, care about it, or fear that you will not burn it when I ask you. So do with me. And tell me all about yourself, straight, without courteously speculating about my being...and by my taking the same course...we shall get more done in a letter than when half is wasted.
(Half is wasted? Perhaps a spontaneous letter being better than one which is worried over)

...and so, thoughts drift to censorship, or, more precisely, the calling up of one's internal editor to censor the rude or impertinent,the inane or stereotypical,the uncreative or just plain incorrect.

It is a "consummation devoutly to be wished" that in a lifetime each person secures at least one person/friend/lover/correspondent with whom to share unedited thoughts. But, I don't believe that many a relationship survives without boundaries of communication.

Some life observations are that the closer the relationship the more apt am I to wholly and completely censor communication so as NOT TO OFFEND. What price is paid for this bit of peace? The mated pair, in the beginning, are fragrant with the most delicious offerings of inspiring words and welcoming gestures. As the relationship matures, subjects that might evoke confrontation are politely avoided. The end result is a more and more sterilized environment where vitality of communication is squeezed out for the prize of stillness. Can no content bring contentment? (Couldn't resist.)

The basic requirement for the continuation of a lively relationship must be a foundation of... (think what you might...take a guess for yourself...) good manners. Anything can be said within the bounds of good manners. (This might be an interesting topic for a journal entry.)

Communication between very compatible folks can dissolve when the first word clinches its fist and connects too low. What is the solution to those low hits? A reminder to remain true to a mutual commitment of profound respect works for me.

The problem is that for a relationship to deepen, sincerity of experience and emotion must not be lost when the words are sanitized. In the vulgar (meaning "common") world of our global community our dominance hierarchy sounds like an announcer on MTV, not like the well educated and well mannered communication of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and with the solidifying of a global language the good manners that allow honest communication are diminished.

(correlates: FinalLesson, Help, JudyReSonnetsfromthePortuguese, ...)