Yet Another Modest Proposal: if "sport utility vehicles" (SUVs) and other poor-maneuverability, high-weight, low-gas-mileage cars are officially defined as "trucks" — for purposes of fuel economy and pollution control regulations (and therefore don't have to meet the normal automotive standards) — well, let's be consistent and likewise deem them trucks when it comes to:

• road restrictions (e.g., "NO TRUCKS LEFT LANE", "NO TRUCKS ON PARKWAY", ... )
• toll surcharges on turnpikes and bridges
• forbidden parking zones
• weigh-station pull-overs and special safety inspections
• higher taxation (including license fees)
  ... and every other limitation that the rules apply to "trucks". Maybe this would slightly lessen the attractiveness of these inefficient vehicles for those folks who really should consider a subcompact for their most common suburban missions: commuting (alone!) to work, picking up a bag of groceries on the way home, etc. Maybe taking the bus or subway, or even walking, would become plausible alternatives.

Of course when gasoline prices rise by an order of magnitude, as they should and will, some of these artificial incentives toward social responsibility will become moot ...

(see also BigBadBoxes (3 Dec 2002), SuVexation (24 Dec 2003), WeightOfEvidence (21 Mar 2004)... )

TopicSociety - TopicHumor - 2004-07-09

(correlates: UnfortunateBillboard, FauxDumpster, MockMack, ...)