Initial operation successful. Left big toe of Emil Zatopek, purchased on Ebay in January 2001, has been transplanted onto Subject Zeta. Preliminary tests indicate Subject's running speed and endurance have both increased by 0.038% — exact ratio of toe to Subject's total body mass. If fractional improvement persists as further components of Subject are replaced then Subject may be competitive in 2008 Olympics 5k, 10k, and marathon. Credit for any medals won will be divided proportionately among nations which contribute to patchwork athlete. Send all donations to Viktor Frankenstein c/o Igor, P. O. Box 666, Ingolstadt, Germany. No unsolicited materials will be returned unless accompanied by stamped self-addressed envelope.

(see also BumpInTheNight (31 Mar 2005), ...)

TopicHumor - TopicRunning - TopicPersonalHistory - 2005-04-01

(correlates: FlyingFinn, HealingProcess, DeerHuntingWithJesus, ...)